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ABOUT ELASMODVR

ANDY MURCH BIO

 

WHAT IS ELASMODIVER?

Not just Shark Pictures: Elasmodiver contains photos of sharks, skates, rays, and chimaera's from around the world. Elasmodiver began as a simple web based shark field guide to help divers find the best places to encounter the different species of sharks and rays that live in shallow water but it has slowly evolved into a much larger project containing information on all aspects of shark diving and shark photography.

There are now more than 10,000 shark pictures  and sections on shark evolution, biology, and conservation. There is a large library of reviewed shark books, a constantly updated shark taxonomy page, a monster list of shark links, and deeper in the site there are numerous articles and stories about shark encounters. Elasmodiver is now so difficult to check for updates, that new information and pictures are listed on an Elasmodiver Updates Page that can be accessed here:

WHAT'S NEW?

Shark picture - green sawfish

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SHARK MOVIES AND SHARK DOCUMENTARIES

Did you know... when you buy at Amazon.com or Chapters.indigo.ca through these links, part of your purchase supports Elasmodiver. Thank you for your support!

 

 

Books, Music, and DVDs all at great prices

 

There are a tremendous amount of shark documentaries that have been produced over the last few decades. The  earliest shark films were generally of poor quality resulting from the use of primitive equipment. Often the divers/film makers did not use lights and the housings were sometimes homemade. What they did have in their favor was the opportunity to interact with healthy shark populations. In the 21st century getting the shot is a more sophisticated business. With the advent of cheap high definition cameras and high intensity lighting it is possible for any shark diver to produce a well constructed sequence but the interaction opportunities are not what they were. There is little chance for a film crew to follow a harpooned whale carcass for days through the South African oceans as oceanic whitetip sharks and great white sharks gorge themselves on its blubber and while whaling is understandably banned the incredible footage that was recorded during the making of Blue Water White Death will never be repeated. Blue shark sequences where chain mail clad divers jump in among hundreds of sharks, are also a thing of the past as the sharks are no longer there in those numbers.

Fortunately, the experiences of those early shark film makers have been recorded for posterity in DVD and VHS format. Hopefully all the best shark documentaries will be transferred to DVD while they are still intact.

 

Reviews of fictional movies have been included for some light relief and to point out the absurdity of the average shark movie plot. Is it possible to make a fictional shark movie where the sharks are of normal proportions and intelligence? Probably not because obviously they wouldn't attack anyone which would make the movie pretty dull. I'd like to see a version of Free Willy with a white shark imprisoned in an aquarium but would people really feel sorry for the shark and would it really change their overall opinions leading to greater protection? Probably not. Lets face it, sharks are destined to remain in the horror movie genre for the time being. At least most shark movies are so ludicrous that even the most gullible filmgoer can't think that sharks are really that monstrous... can they?

 

SHARK DOCUMENTARIES

 

Anatomy of a Shark Bite - A controversial documentary because of it's repeated use of graphic footage of a Bull Shark attack that Dr Eric Ritter sustained during the making of a different documentary. Although capturing the attack on camera was a unique occurrence, the endless examination of the specifics and subsequent reenactment with mechanical sharks created a circus atmosphere that did not appear to generate much useful knowledge. Ritter was criticized by some of his peers who thought that the Discovery production was nothing but pseudo-science intended to generate money at the expense of sharks.

 

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Anatomy of a Sharkbite

 

The Blue Planet

 

The Blue Planet Series - Although not specifically about sharks, these DVDs produced by the BBC contain some of the best shark footage ever seen. The feeding frenzies filmed around different bait balls are incredible sequences. There is footage of various species including some deep sea shots of Portuguese sharks and a glimpse of a Prickly dogfish. Overall, the 8 documentaries stand out as the most impressive marine life series ever filmed. The challenges faced in the making of each program were enormous and the final product stands as a testament to the dedication and professionalism of those involved. Well worth watching again and again.

 

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Planet Earth & The Blue Planet Seas of Life (Special Collector's Edition)

 

The Blue Realm - Underwater Adventure (2005). Contains 2 dvds.

 

The Business of Sharks. A look at the economic importance of sharks in the tourism industry. Film Makers Tom Campbell and Neil MacDaniel present many of the world's best known shark feeds in order to demonstrate how exposure and revenue have changed the perception of tourists and resort operators.

Contains some excellent footage of the now defunct Chumsicle feed at Walkers Cay, Bahamas, the Bull Shark Beach snorkel that ended with the televised attack on Erich Ritter (see Anatomy of a Shark Bite above), Cage and free dives with South Africa's Great Whites, and the Sixgill Shark encounter at Hornby Island, Canada.

 

Giant Manta Rays. Some excellent footage of manta rays mostly from San Benedicto Island in the Socorro Group south of Baja, Mexico. Researchers spend a month tagging Mantas to learn about their migratory patterns and to ascertain whether the animals at this manta hot spot are regular visitors. Lots of good information on mantas that is rarely included in other shark and ray documentaries - recommended.

 

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The Blue Realm Underwater Adventure

 

 

Great White Death 1981 - Produced and Directed by Jean Lebel and Narrated by Glen Ford. You wont learn much from this dated DVD except that not much was known about Great White Sharks back in the early 80's. According to the dialog White Sharks can grow up to 30ft long and have very bad eyesight.

Lebel occasionally substitutes Sandtiger footage but to his credit the mock attacks look more realistic than your average shark movie. He also includes what appears to be authentic footage of an attack and rescue in which the victim is pulled from the water (minus one leg) and a tourniquet applied. This undoubtedly saved the mans life as it is estimated that he lost 6.5 pints of blood.

Although the flavor of the documentary pits 'man against the shark' reference is made to the necessity of sharks in the ecosystem.

 

Jaws of the Pacific 2003 - A discovery Channel Production that contains some excellent Great White Shark footage. Although it begins with an account of an attack in California and predation shots at Ano Nuevo, the main focus is on white shark migration. Using satellite tags, researchers track white sharks from California to Hawaii and discuss a white shark sighting by submersible pilots that demonstrates how deep the sharks actually swim.

Footage taken from the submersible off a seamount around Hawaii also shows an aggregation of Prickly sharks (called Cook Sharks in the show) but one misidentified sequence is of an enormous Sixgill Shark. There is also an interesting shot of some Mosaic Gulper Sharks (Centrophorus tessellatus) exploring a bait station.

After Hawaii the action shifts to Guadalupe where large numbers of Great White Sharks are now being recorded.

Overall, a well rounded look at eastern Pacific white shark populations.

 

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Jaws of the Pacific

 

 

Island of the Sharks

 

Island of the Sharks - Originally shot for IMAX presentation. Howard Hall's masterpiece on Cocos Island is a spectacular piece of cinematography. From a shark fanatics point of view the footage is somewhat lacking as the focus of the documentary is on the entire ecosystem with only cursory references to the sharks themselves. There is an excellent sequence of whitetip sharks in a nocturnal feeding frenzy.

 

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Island of the Sharks (Large Format)

 

Operation Shark Attack Vol 1 - Ron and Valerie Taylor explore the benefits of the chain mail suit. After Val gets bitten by a Blue Shark they develop a suit that will protect them from further assaults. Initially they test the new suit on Whitetip Reef Sharks and Blues but eventually they put a mannequin in the water wearing the suit to see if it will withstand the bite of the great white. Although the suit survives the mannequin is crushed. Old footage but interesting.

 

 

Operation Shark Attack Vol 2- The Shark Attack Files - hopping from one shark attack hotspot to the next, this volume of OSA starts by relating the details of many horrific shark attacks. In each location there is an attempt to sum up the (usually mixed) feelings of locals and the actions of the local authorities and self styled vigilantes. There are a number of interviews with researchers mixed in and although the narrator doesn't actually say that culling dangerous species of sharks is wrong, there is an overall message of a need for better understanding and conservation.

 

 

Operation Shark Attack Vol 4- Tales of the Tiger Shark - Starting with a rehash of more shark attacks in Hawaii (including footage repeated from Vol 2) the emphasis then shifts to the independent fishermen who attempt to cull the numbers of Tigers and the researchers who are trying to establish the size of their home range. Footage taken of a Tiger on the line is the first to show a shark inverting its stomach during capture.

Much of the documentary is then taken up with a Florida based shark wrangler and the problems he faces in transporting sharks around the world.

 

 

Operation Shark Attack Vol 5- The Shark Attack Files II - Yet more sensationalized stories of attacks this time in South Africa, California, and Hawaii. Sinister music and dramatic narration add to the negative ambience leaving the viewer with very little positive information about sharks.

Researchers Chris and Gwynne Lowe are interviewed about their research into sun tanning among sharks which could help scientists understand how they avoid melanoma formation. But quickly the show slips back into shark attack mode.

 

Search for the Great Sharks

 

Search for the Great Sharks - Although not particularly informative this documentary has some excellent footage of multiple White sharks circling cage divers in Southern Australia. The film focuses on Eugenie Clarke and Rodney Fox as they travel from California where they chum for Blue sharks, to Whale shark and White shark encounters in Australia.

The Science of Shark Attacks

 

The Science of Shark Attacks - A not particularly informative and occasionally very gory look at shark behavior. A Discovery Channel Production aimed at exploring the reasons one individual is selected over another. The documentary fails to come to any firm or useful conclusions and focuses on ongoing research that may yield answers at some point in the future.

Shark Attack footage

 

Shark Attack - Savage Killers from the Deep - A compilation of shark footage from around the world. This dvd contains absolutely no comentary so there is no way learn any information about sharks from watching it. Although some of the footage is credited to Howard Hall and other great documentary makers, the overall presentation is substandard. Too many of the sequences show divers attending reef shark feeds at Stuarts Cove or white sharks through the cage bars in South Africa. Occasionally some whale shark or horn shark footage is spliced in to add variety but the production lacks any real substance. Shark Attack is the shark movie equivalent of elevator music.

 

Shark Attack - The Great White Shark - NHNZ.TV. Shark researcher Ian 'Shark' Gordon postulates on the social structure of Great White Sharks by examining their body language during a series of shark feeds in the Spenser Gulf in southern Australia. A pretty good introduction into white shark behavior. Also contained on this DVD is:

White Shark - Nature of the Beast - In this supplementary production researchers travel to the remote Chatham Islands near New Zealand to gather evidence related to anecdotal reports that Great White Sharks are hunting in packs. Although no firm conclusions are presented, the tagging data indicates that the sharks (predominately males) reside in close proximity to each other without any sign of conflict.

 

 

Shark Attack - The Galapagos and Tiger Shark - NHNZ.TV. Shark researcher Ian 'Shark' Gordon travels to Midway atoll to feed Galapagos Sharks in an attempt to discover how frenzied they become around food and to see if they will attack divers in a feeding scenerio.

Next Ian heads to Hawaii to help insert electronic tags in Tiger sharks. Not much behavioral Tiger shark footage.

 

 

Shark Attack - The Grey Nurse and Port Jackson Shark - NHNZ.TV. Ian 'Shark' Gordon helps to transport a captive Grey Nurse shark from Queensland to the Melbourne Aquarium. After a short dive to show the natural habitat most of this episode takes place above water.

Ian then travels to Jervis Bay to ascertain whether Port Jackson sharks care for their eggs. Lots of in water action including some close up shots of Angel sharks. Although Ian draws no firm conclusions he does witness a PJS picking up an egg capsule and relocating it on a reef.

 

 

Shark Attack - Thresher Sharks and Maneaters - NHNZ.TV. Ian Gordon goes to the Philippines to dive with Pelagic Thresher Sharks. The Thresher footage is a bit distant but pretty clear. Ian tries to discover why the sharks are coming to this particular area in large numbers.

Next Ian goes to Walkers Cay to dive with Erich Ritter. This is pre 'Anatomy of a shark bite' and Erich encourages some pretty risky behavior that he probably shouldn't have in light of his eventual attack. There is some good footage of the walkers chumsicle feed that is no longer carried out.

 

 

Shark Attack - Oceanic Whitetip Shark and Whitetip Reef Shark - NHNZ.TV. Ian Gordon heads to Hawaii to test the effects of the shark pod on an Ocean Whitetip. Due to the lack of Whitetips left in the ocean most of the show focuses on marine mammals and fish.

Then on the Great Barrier Reef Ian assists in a tagging program on Whitetip Reef Sharks. Lots of shark footage concentrating on the roping process for capturing this type of shark

 

 

Shark Attack - The Scalloped Hammerhead and Prickly Shark - NHNZ.TV. Ian travels to El Bajo to swim with schooling Hammerheads. Faced with poor visibility and uncooperative sharks he retires to Hawaii where he meets a researcher who is doing electrical sensitivity tests on Baby Hammerheads.

Next, Ian travels to Monterey Canyon to look for Prickly Sharks. This is the only area that Prickly sharks are known to regularly visit shallow water. After tagging a Prickly from the ship, Ian and his camera operator head down to 100ft and get face to face with three large Prickly Sharks. The footage is excellent and probably a cinematic first.

 

 

Shark Attack - The Whale Shark and Mako Shark - NHNZ.TV. Ian attempts to tag a whale shark at NIngaloo Reef in Western Australia to help with a ongoing study that is attempting to track their migratory patterns.

Then, Ian employs a camera attached to a fishing line to film the incredible speed of a hunting Mako Shark. This footage is very exciting and demonstrates the Mako's legendary maneuverability. Finally, Ian cage dives with large Makos and swims outside the cage with smaller individuals. Good footage of a poorly documented species.

 

 

Shark Attack - Ian Gordon's Most Dangerous Moments - NHNZ.TV.

A rehash of the more spectacular moments from the series plus some added behind the scenes footage of Ian and his camera men discussing safety issues related to each shark. The 'dangers' are somewhat sensationalized but its interesting to watch all the highlights in one show.

 

The Shark Con a film by Rusty Armstrong

Read Review

 

Shark Quest  - Rob Torelli and Mark Priest embark on a journey to dive and snorkel with some of the worlds great sharks. Although the dialog is a bit hokey, Both Rob and Mark turn out to be very accomplished free divers and the footage that they capture on some of their dives is exceptional. Apart from the obligatory white shark dive, they come across Broadnose Sevengills feeding on a dead stingray and manage to film a Tiger Shark killing and eating a Grey Reef Shark. Ending their quest in an anchovy school in Western Australia they find themselves among hundreds of Spinner Sharks which are rarely filmed under water.

Overall some well constructed and very unique footage.

 

Sharkwater - Rob Stewart. Shark water is a documentary chronicling Rob Stewart's experiences as a film maker obsessed by sharks, his voyage aboard Sea Shepherd's boat which resulted in a violent clash with shark finners and his fight to save sharks and generate awareness.

An entertaining film which has inspired many otherwise ignorant film goers to reconsider their views of sharks and finning.

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Sharkwater

Shark Week 20th Anniversary Collection 2007

A compilation of 14 shark documentaries that have aired on shark week. Some of the shows were previously released as independent DVDs and have been reviewed separately. As usual Discovery has packed this collection with many tiresome shows about shark attacks but there are a few genuinely educational documentaries included to appease their viewers that are actually interested in sharks.

 

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Shark Week: 20th Anniversary Collection

 

The DVD contains:

 

Shark Attack Rescuers

Not much information in this one, just a repetitive collection of reenactments of shark attacks from the perspectives of the attackees and their rescuers.

 

Shark Attack Survivors

 

 

Anatomy of a Shark Bite

Read review

 

Prehistoric Sharks

A very informative documentary with interesting animated portrayals of many prehistoric sharks.  A large portion of the show is dedicated to Dr Richard Lund's fascinating discoveries at Bear Gulch in Montana. Over the last 30 years Lund has unearthed thousands of fossils including many rare, well preserved skeletons of some of the more bizarre groups of ancestral sharks. Some species discussed include the inopterygians, Echinochaeras and stethacanthids.

Artist Ray Troll's fanciful illustrations detract from the realism but add some color to an otherwise dry subject.

 

Future Shark

An interesting documentary that focuses on the cutting edge scientific tools being used to study sharks both in the lab and in their natural environment.

The show follows TV Marine Biologist Rocky Strong, as he uses a remotely operated vehicle (rov) and remote cameras to track the movements of Pacific Angel Sharks and record their explosive striking ability.

The show also highlights the work of Dr Phil Motta from the University of South Florida who is implanting electrodes into the heads of captive nurse sharks to better understand their bite mechanism.

The satellite tagging of Whale Sharks in Utila, Honduras is also covered.

 

Bull Shark: The World's Deadliest Shark

TV Presenter Nigel Marvin who was standing next to Erich Ritter during his infamous bite at Bull Shark Beach (see: Anatomy of a Shark Bite) travels to numerous destinations around the world to encounter bull sharks in different environments. Not a bad portrayal of the bull shark's behavior but there are far too many 'deadly' and 'man eating' references throughout the show.

 

Jaws of the Pacific

Read review

 

Sharks in a Desert Sea

A pretty good documentary showcasing some of the more common sharks found in and around the Sea of Cortez. TV shark researcher Rocky Strong travels to the Midriff Islands in the upper gulf to determine whether white sharks inhabit this little known region. After some unsuccessful chumming Strong encounters a Mexican Bullhead Shark which is a rarely encountered species.

There is also some good footage from Socorro Island which includes reef whitetips and Galapagos sharks.

 

Air Jaws: Sharks of South Africa

Read review

 

Air Jaws II: Even Higher

Read review

 

American Shark

 

Shark Rebellion

 

Shark Hunter: Chasing the Great White

 

Shark Bite! Surviving Great Whites

 

 

Sharks - Two documentaries on one DVD

Great White (1992) - Produced by Barry Clark in association with the Discovery Channel. Starts out with the 'Sharks are formidable killers' with stories from attack victims but then shifts to a conservation angle. The bulk of the film is dedicated to establishing what factors encourage shark attacks. A mechanical mannequin is used to test the sharks response to swimmers but the researcher's conclusions are a little weak.

 

The Ultimate Guide to Sharks (1996) - Produced for the Discover Channel as part of an ultimate animal series. A comprehensive introduction to shark anatomy and species diversity including: some good footage of a Greenland Shark, a glimpse of a Caribbean Rough Shark filmed from a submersible, a tonic immobility display, nurse sharks mating, a dead Goblin Shark, some amazing shots of developing skate embryos, lots of Great White Shark footage, and an interview with shark attack victim Rodney Fox.

 

 

(Nature) Sharks - Two documentaries on one DVD

The Secret World of Sharks and Rays - An excellent introduction to the diversity of shark and ray species. Starting with the obligatory Great White, this well rounded documentary introduces many of the lesser known families of elasmobranches. Memorable sequences include a horn shark being swallowed by an angel shark, a saw shark hunting, nurse sharks mating, and some footage of basking sharks feeding. As well as shots of sevengill sharks, prickly sharks, and filetail catsharks among others. Some interesting ray behavior is also caught on film including a sequence in which a coffin ray stuns and eats a fish.

Highly entertaining and probably the best DVD I have seen to show to children. At no point are the sharks made out to be ruthless killing machines. In fact many scenes demonstrate their fallibility e.g. a tiger shark being chased away by an angry turtle.

 

White Shark/Red Triangle - An interesting look at Great White Shark feeding strategies. The red triangle is the section of the Californian coastline that is considered a hotspot for shark attacks both on humans and marine mammals. The documentary concentrates on the relationship between the sharks and the large colonies of seals and sea lions that seasonally inhabit this area. Some interesting parallels are drawn between the decline and subsequent reemergence of the pinniped populations compared to the number of attacks, and the rise of attacks on surfers which coincided with the introduction of shorter surfboards which resemble the silhouette of a seal. there is plenty of footage of seals and white sharks both above and below the water including some hazy shots of the documented attack on a white shark by a killer whale.

 

Sharks the big ten

 

Sharks The Big Ten (2003) - Produced in connection with Dive Magazine's Shark Special and Bigfish Television. This DVD contains some amazing footage of ten high profile species. Some of the worlds top shark photographers and videographers  contribute their thoughts on each species but the highlight of the documentary has to be the rare footage of thresher sharks filmed at a feeding station in The Philippines. Other excellent footage includes the Tiger and Great hammerhead sequences provided by Jim Abernethy. Although the content is not hugely informative this is more than made up for by the spectacle of well shot film.

 

   

 

White Shark - Outside the Cage (2005) - A look at the unconventional research methods of Mark Marks who studies the behavioral responses of Great White Sharks while on snorkel or using a rebreather outside the cage. His experiments include the use of a wooden cutout of a White Shark jaw gaping to watch the sharks response to this visual cue. Marks also uses a large mirror which he suprises the sharks with. The responses seem to range from flight to acceptance but as always it is difficult to interpret what this implies. Marks postulates that the responses indicate a hierarchy of size among the White Shark community.

Marks' controvertial filming and study techniques elicit mixed responses from other members of the research community but his results are a useful addition to the existing bank of knowledge.

 

FICTIONAL SHARK MOVIES

Blood Surf

 

Blood Surf (2000) - A film crew travels to a remote shark infested island to shoot a documentary about surfers who chum the water and then cut themselves to purposely get chased by sharks. The rush that they expect becomes a nightmare when a giant saltwater crocodile joins the pursuit.

The reef shark footage is ok but after the first few sequences all you see is the rubber croc. One quick shot of a blue shark feeding is thrown in from who knows where but if you don't know your sharks I guess you could forgive that error. There are some funny shots of the surfers catching waves with computer generated shark fins painted in behind them and a quick snippet of a sea snake that has nothing to do with the movie whatsoever.

Obviously the director James Hickox thought the story needed spicing up a little so he added in plenty of explicit sex scenes turning a bad horror movie into a bad soft porn horror movie.

 

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Blood Surf

 

Blue Demon

 

Blue Demon (2005) - Scientists implant computer chips into the brains of genetically modified sharks (GMS) to create a weapon to defend against terrorists. Unfortunately there is a second deeper computer program running which is really controlling the sharks and this one is more malicious. The sharks run amok once the computers crash and various people get eaten until a plan is drawn up to dispose of the sharks.

The computer generated sharks were the worst I've ever seen to the point where they actually looked like cartoon sharks, and the surface shots were all of plastic dorsal fins being dragged through the water. The weird part was that it seemed to start out with a stab at seriousness and then gave up resorting to satire and ridiculous characters like a flamboyant midget company manager and an army colonel straight out of a bad war comic. Very odd.

 

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Blue Demon

 

 

Cyclone (1978) - Although billed as a shark attack movie the shark action in Cyclone is almost nonexistent. After a cyclone hits a small Caribbean island an airplane and a variety of boats are wrecked resulting in multiple opportunities for sharks to devour the survivors. Eventually a Tiger Shark steps in to liven up an otherwise painfully slow movie and munches on a few swimmers before the rest of the victims are saved.

The Tiger Shark footage is rather short and repeated multiple times. In the last few scenes some more sharks arrive (possibly Bull Sharks) but they are all shot heading away from the camera with lots of red dye pouring out of their gills so its hard to tell.

Macabre but memorable scenes include the slicing up of dead bodies for food and bait, and the skinning of a pet dog - skip it unless you just gotta see that dog scene.

 

Dark Waters

 

Dark Waters (2003) - Vying for first place in the worst shark movie stakes, Dark Waters takes us to an oil rig where genetically modified sharks (GMS) are terrorizing a deep sea operation. Hmm, where have I heard that one before. As if Deep Blue Sea really needed a remake. The movie opens with a couple of hard hat divers walking around on the sea bed many thousands of feet below where that would be possible until an unruly bunch of GMS White sharks have them for breakfast and then ignoring the immensely sensitive receptors in their snouts, they go on to head butt various parts of the steel undersea base until it collapses. All of the sharks are bad computer generations and to make the visual spectacle even worse it is immediately obvious that the divers are not actually underwater but walking around on a movie set with superimposed bubbles in the foreground. The dialogue plays out like a bad soft porn movie rounding this out to be a truly pitiful production.

  

Deep Blue Sea

 

Deep Blue Sea - As bad shark movies go this one was a pretty high budget production heralded as the best produced shark flick since Jaws. Perhaps that is true but only because all the others were so painfully bad. The story line has a group of genetically modified Mako/White sharks terrorizing the high seas out of the control of the secret underwater facility that produced them. The likes of Samuel Jackson help to push the movie along but sadly Jackson gets munched pretty early on leaving the remaining cast to stumble towards the inevitable demise of the facility and most of the staff. The movies' tough guy has the impressive habit of riding the sharks as they try to bite him which looks quite comical. There's a fair bit of suspense as the sharks sneak up to the occupants under water and the computer generated sharks are reasonably realistic. Worth a watch.

 

 

Hammerhead (2005) - A mad scientist (reminiscent of Dr Frankenstein) delays his son's death from cancer by combining his DNA with that of a Great Hammerhead Shark. The resulting monster runs amok on a large yet somehow uncharted tropical island where he has been exiled. After dismembering some of the good guys (rival scientists who have been maliciously invited strictly to be used as lunch) and most of the bad guys the hammerhead man is recaptured so that the mad doctor can mate his creation with the reluctant heroine.

Plenty of gore, a chubby middle aged hero, and a rather strange looking monster/hammerhead/mutant make this movie stand out as a unique offering in the shark movie genre. But regardless of this it's still a terrible movie and its time Hollywood learned that if you want to create a truly scary shark flick you need to use a normal shark with a bad attitude rather than a grotesquely misshapen stand in.

 

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Hammerhead

 

Jaws

 

Jaws (1975) - Jaws wasnt just a movie, it was a phenomenon. Adapted from the book of the same name by Peter Benchley it became one of the first of the summer blockbusters. The basic story line was based on the 1916 attacks off New Jersey and presented as a modern version of the same events. A killer white shark takes up residence off the sleepy vacation town of Amity. Initially the mayor and concerned investors attempt to suppress information of the attacks resulting in further carnage. The rogue shark is finally tracked down by aquaphobic Chief of Police Brody played by Roy Scheider, shark specialist Hooper aka Richard Dreyfuss, and veteran sea dog and survivor of the indianapolis sinking Quint played by Robert Shaw. Directed by legend Steven Speilberg and with a masterful score by John Williams, Jaws captured the imaginations of a generation and created a shark killing frenzy. As negative as this film was for the fate of shark species around the world it is hard not to appreciate the quality of this movie with its skilled direction, casting, and acting, as well as good underwater footage provided by Ron and Valerie Taylor.

 

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Jaws (30th Anniversary Edition)

 

Jaws 2

 

Jaws 2 (1978) - Following in the wake of the original blockbuster, J2 was a reasonably good effort by director Jeannot Szwarc but lacked the suspense that Speilberg created. The story line is an almost exact copy of the first movie with Chief Brody  attempting to alert the money hungry locals to the danger of a second shark. Brody is again written off as a paranoiac and eventually fired only to be vindicated by subsequent events. Its unclear why this second shark has taken up the crusade but there is a subtle reference to the idea of communication between it and the first shark. The models in J2 appear less realistic and real white shark footage is scarce. Overall a shadow of the original.

 

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Jaws 2

 

Jaws 3

 

Jaws 3D - How could they do this to the legend of Jaws! A truly pitiful effort on behalf of director Joe Alves. Dennis Quaid stars as Chief Brody's son now grown up and working for a greedy,  penny pinching, Marineland Director (Lou Gossett Junior). Somehow a 35ft white shark (hmm...) manages to sneak into the park and remains unnoticed while a smaller white shark runs amok. Inevitably the 'momma' shark (which is one of the least life like models you'll ever come across in a shark movie) starts to feed on the staff and main characters. Brody and his Marine Biologist girlfriend (Bess Armstrong) do what they can to make their characters convincing but the special effects are so poor that they could have won Oscars and the film would still have been horrendous. Occasionally real shark footage is cut into the dummy footage which would have lifted it up a notch if only they'd used a white shark and not a nurse! I wonder what Benchley and Spielburg thought of the painful relegation of their masterwork to the rank of B-movies... Sad.

 

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Jaws 3

 

Jaws 4 the revenge

 

Jaws - The Revenge - Flogging the Jaws phenomenon into little more than a soap opera of its former self, Jaws 4 leaves behind any remaining vestiges of logic and realism. Bruce (the shark model) wobbles its way through each scene. Chief Brody is now dead (possibly of humiliation), and his son quickly follows as a white shark tears through his police launch in the river. Brody's widow decides that the attack must be a personal vendetta by the shark against her family - Hey why not? I bet that happens all the time! Distraught, Ma Brody goes to the Bahamas to stay with her remaining son and his family closely followed by Jaws. The 'Brody Bunch' then narrowly escape death on numerous occasions assisted by Michael Caine and Mario Van Peebles. Ma Brody finally dispatches poor Bruce by driving the mast of a schooner straight through him as he lunges out of the water, and the Atlantic is finally safe forever. Or is it...?

 

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Jaws - The Revenge

 

Jaws of Death

 

Jaws of Death (1976) - Richard Jaeckel plays Sonny Stein who has the ability to communicate with sharks through a talisman given him by a Philippine Shaman. Sonny secretly scuba dives out to various shark fishing boats and kills the occupants and feeds them to his shark friends. Eventually his talents for attracting sharks  are abused by a cruel scientist and he is tricked into selling a shark to a businessman who torments it. Sonny's murderous personality then surfaces and he feeds both bad guys to his sharks. The police then chase him to his shack on a tiny island for a sad showdown.

The shark footage is great and there are lots of Tiger shark sequences but many sharks were probably killed during the making of the movie. One Tiger shark is power headed on screen.

By far the most unusual shark movie I've seen and definitely my favorite - is it wrong to identify with the psychopath?

 

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The Jaws of Death

 

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus

 

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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

 

Megalodon

 

Megalodon (2004) - In the frigid arctic seas a giant drilling platform breaks through to a sealed cavern under the seafloor where a megalodon of various sizes (depending on the scene) has been trapped for the last 60 million years. It then wreaks havoc with the oil rig, crushing submersibles, and generally bumping into things. That's pretty much it. Not much gore,and I've seen goldfish with more malice. o be fair I've also seen worse computer graphics but the meg floats around aimlessly rather than making a concerted effort to swim anywhere. Surprisingly half the cast walk away unharmed including the owner who sees the error of his ways and becomes an environmental campaigner. There's a weird 'we're the real bad guys' theme echoing through the movie which would probably have worked better if the Megalodon hadn't started eating people.

 

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Megalodon

 

Night of the Sharks

 

Night of the Sharks - Treat Williams plays a shark hunter / beach bum living in Mexico who is inadvertently caught up in a mob blackmail attempt. The story is very predictable and the acting is horrendous. The shark footage is actually pretty good. Cyclops is a large Tiger shark that terrorizes the neighborhood indiscriminately killing divers, boaters, Treat's ex-wife, and mafia henchmen alike. There are lots of close ups of Tigers with divers but Cyclops has the bad habit of repeatedly turning into a Lemon shark and sometimes appears as what looks like a shark carcass that I hope was not killed in order to make this bad movie.

 

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Night Of The Sharks

 

Open Water

 

Open Water (2004) - Based on the true story of a couple who were accidentally left behind on a dive trip to the great barrier reef. In this loose reconstruction of events the divers are jostled by sharks during their ordeal and eventually succumb to the elements although it is not clear from the screenplay whether either of them are actually killed by the circling reef sharks. This is an extremely low budget production shot in the Caribbean with a shaky "Blair Witch" feel.  The footage of sharks is quite awful as is the rest of the underwater work, and the dialogue is rather plain. This movie is neither funny or dramatic but the chain of events are mildly disturbing if you're a diver that spends a lot of time out at sea.

 

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Open Water (Widescreen Edition)

 

Red Water

 

Red Water (2003) - In a sleepy Mississippi backwater a Bull shark is randomly picking off bathers and swimmers. At the same time an oil company is prospecting in a protected area creating bad juju with the local shark god and in close proximity a bunch of drug runners are diving to recover their dumped stash.  Not much shark action in this one except for some badly done computer animations. The Bull shark which is doing a great impression of a conical snouted white shark seems to have it in for the oil crew and drug runners and keeps them cooped up together whilst they fight amongst themselves. The big question is whether Lou Diamond Phillips who is reluctantly helping the oil prospectors will be shot by the bad guys or dispatched by the Bull shark but sadly he outwits them both and survives to makes more bad movies another day. A very dull flick that could have been salvaged if some decent shark footage had been used.

 

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Red Water

 

Raging Sharks

 

Raging Sharks (2005) - In an alien 'intergalactic car crash' a cold fusion generator falls into our ocean in the Bermuda Triangle (no really - that happens all the time!). The crystals which fall out of the broken generator are eaten by sharks (I'm not sure why) which are then driven into a frenzy attacking anything that moves. The staff of an undersea research lab are then harassed, ultimately trapped and left gasping for breathe when their O2 starts to run low. The navy sends a nuclear sub to investigate which has an undercover black ops assassin on board who kills more good guys than the sharks do. I can't go on.

The computer animations are pretty bad but what amazed me was the amount of White shark footage that director Danny Lerner incorporated. That and a fairly realistic rubber shark in the people eating scenes was enough to create a semblance of visual believability - that is if you ignore the aliens, cold fusion crystals, black ops assassin, giant undersea lab, Bermuda Triangle, and nuclear sub aspects.

 

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Raging Sharks

 

 

Shark Attack - Casper Van Dien plays Steven McKray; a marine biologist who arrives in South Africa to investigate a rash of shark attacks. Finding that one of his colleagues has been fed to the sharks, he attempts to unravel a web of deceit while evading hungry sharks , angry fishermen, and creative but incompetent bad guys. Finding underwater thumpers on the beaches attracting Great White Sharks (if only it were that easy), an abnormality in the sharks blood chemistry, and a horrible secret in the local hospital, he breaks into hero mode to save the day, the sharks, and the damsel in distress.

Apart from the atrocious South African accents, the acting is tolerable and the somewhat plausible story line makes this movie worth a watch. The shark action is limited and the same footage is used over and over but at least its all real white shark tape except for the close ups. Although they gut a few sharks on screen, no sharks were killed during the making of the film.

 

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Shark Attack

 

 

Shark Attack 2 - The first thing you'll notice about SA2 is that the sharks have learned to growl - always a bad sign. Sure enough, the steroid filled Great Whites from SA1 had babies and they're hungry.

While scuba diving around Cape Town a woman is killed in front of her sister who spends the rest of the movie trying to kill the shark and its siblings. She is joined by Marine Biologist Nick West who has been wrongfully blamed for the death (by the same shark) of an aquarium worker. After some chest thumping with an Australian movie star they eventually team up to finish the job.

I'm confused. According to the DVD sleeve this movie is set in Hawaii but the boats and location references are all South African. But, nobody even tries to speak with a South African accent and there are no dark skinned characters except for the mayor. Hmm.

The budget must have been running tight on SA2 because the same shark footage from SA1 was dusted off and used all over again. Unfortunately the plastic shark sequences are so bad that at first its hard to tell if the surface shots are supposed to be of a shark or an upturned canoe. Combined with vastly inferior acting and a weak plot borrowed straight from Jaws, Shark Attack 2 was terrible. I cant wait to see Shark Attack 3!

 

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Shark Attack 2

 

Shark Attack 3 Movie Cover

 

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon - After a spate of shark attacks close to a Mexican tourist resort, a paleontologist posing as a marine biologist shows up to study what she believes to be a juvenile Meg which looks uncannily like a Great White. Teaming up with a beach patrol guy, they track down the baby meg and dispatch it with the terrible one liner "Your're extinct F#*~r". Unfortunately, the carnage continues when mom shows up and starts swallowing boats. After a run in with the resort manager who tries to cover up the whole affair, the beach patrol guy tosses out the most explicit pick up line in shark movie history and the whole film degenerates into soft porn.

Finally, remembering the plot, the couple team up with a mini-sub pilot who happens to have a torpedo kicking around in his garage and they go after the enormous meg for the inevitable show down.

I have seen worse acting and the GWS footage is pretty good but its hard to remember that its supposed to be a baby meg. Momma meg is simply the same shark chomping on tiny models and blue screen actors and the result isn't even close to being believable.

The shark attack series was collectively so bad that it begs the question; will there ever be a Shark Attack 4 - gee, I hope so!

 

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Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

 

Shark Attack in the Mediterranean - The first odd thing about this movie besides its terrible name is that when the beginning credits roll a deep voiced narrator announces " Shark attack in Mallorca". This inconsistency in the first minute doesn't bode well for the credibility of the remaining 92 minutes of the movie which drag you along to the inevitable 'a la Jaws' finish.

Briefly, This is a German Jaws/Megalodon hybrid from Director Jorgo Papavassilou and starring Ralph Moeller as Sven - a helicopter pilot who is so ripped that he barely fits in his cockpit.

Sven starts by rescuing a cage full of German tourists who's cage has become unattached to the boat amid a group of extremely fast, growling, c.g., great white sharks. The accident occurs when their unscrupulous Majorcan boat captain decides to move to a better site and drags the cage over the sea floor to save time. Fortunately the family are amazingly good on air and Sven is able to save them all by hanging from his helicopter skid and grabbing the buoy that he finds magically attached to their severed hang line.

Sven (who's wife was previously munched by a shark) then helps his police buddy to recover some body parts from a lagoon. Sven finds a meg tooth stuck in the planking of the victim's boat and matches it to one that he found near his wife's body. He rushes to the beach 'a la Chief Brody' and clears everyone out of the water but no shark shows up.

More boaters die while he takes the tooth to a lab but is told by the crooked lab tech that its a fossil. Someone in a truck then tries to kill him and he puts 2 and 2 together and breaks into the lab with the help of his new girlfriend who works there and learns the truth....

After a few more narrow escapes at the hands of a hungry meg (one of which is self inflicted when he goes trawling for it in his chopper) Sven is betrayed but manages to convince his betrayer of the better cause.

This movie is a bit slim on acting and virtually free of the usual gratuitous gore which doesn't leave much to look forward to. There are some intentionally comical side characters like the fat rich guy who is permanently surrounded by bikini clad girls but the funniest part from me was when a ship explodes and the hero is thrown about 50ft into the air but lands in a small zodiac and drives away. Grueling but watchable.

 

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Shark Attack in the Mediterranean

 

Man Eater aka Shark

 

SHARK! Also called MANEATER.(1969) - Directed by Samuel fuller. Burt Reynolds plays a tough gun runner down on his luck in deepest Sudan. He finds work diving for treasure replacing a diver who has fallen victim to the overly malicious local shark population. The shark shots are all real but usually depict fleeing reef sharks in the distance. A knife battle with a shark ensues towards the end of the movie which looks to me as though it actually took place. This fits with the dedication of the movie to the "Fearless Stuntmen" who risked their lives diving in shark infested waters. Not bad for such an old flick and entertainingly politically incorrect to our modern sensibilities - Twice Burt punches out the female lead in the course of events. The second time he apologizes so I guess that's ok. He also eventually throws the bad guy to the sharks which in true sixties Hollywood tradition flock in and carry him away screaming. Ah, they don't make them like they used to.

 

Shark Hunter

 

Shark Hunter (2004) – Where do they get these original story lines: A marine research facility on the deep ocean floor has been imploded by a shark, this time a Megalodon. Professor Spencer Northcutt (who must have graduated around the age of twelve) played by Antonio Sabato Jr (who?) is called in to help track down the shark and capture it for scientific research. ‘Spence’ is reluctant to bring in the shark alive as he coincidentally has seen a Meg before when his parents were swallowed during an attack on their yacht.

Its still a long way from Jaws but the cast give ok performances except for Cheryl (Heather Marie Marsden) the female scientist who switches erratically between clinical and hysterical. My favorite line is the one stolen straight out of Jaws where the mini-sub pilot Harrington (Grand L Bush) unconvincingly mimics Brody by saying “We’re gonna need a bigger sub”. He looks like he’s always wanted to say that. There’s an abrupt and unexpected twist towards the end where a torpedo explodes inside the sub killing everyone except Spence who is out luring in the Meg in the mini-sub. Almost immediately he plunges into the mouth of the shark whilst over revving the engine causing it to explode and taking the poor Megalodon with him. I guess they went over budget.

The sets are actually pretty well constructed but the diving scenes are mostly computer animated or above water mockups. This shark is one of the more realistic computer animations compared to dark waters or red water and this is helped by use of a model in some sequences. It would have been better if megalodons were not extinct but lets not get picky.

 

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Shark Hunter

 

shark swarm dvd

 

Shark Swarm (2007) - An evil real estate developer (aren't they all) played by Armand Assante has been intentionally polluting Full Moon Bay with toxic waste to kill off the fishing and make the townspeople keen to sell out. When the local shark population becomes contaminated, they develop pack behavior and go on a killing spree.

Local fisherman Daniel Wilder (John Schneider) and his wife (Daryl Hannah) discover the truth and enlist the help of Wilder's Marine Biologist brother who digs out a handful of electrical pulse emitting guns to scare away the sharks and break up the swarms.

The computer generated sharks (somewhere between baby tiger sharks and harmless soupfin sharks) are pretty sad looking predators but I've seen worse. The pulse guns are hilarious - they look like they were borrowed from a Flash Gordon movie, but otherwise the props are credible even if the plot isn't.

The acting on the other hand is outstanding. I'm serious! Most of the characters are believable and the dialog is surprisingly subtle. John Schneider puts on an especially good performance but Armand Asante (who usually makes an excellent villain) sounds like he's either drunk or recovering from a stroke.

The director (James A. Contner) manages to keep the momentum going without relying on sex or gore but you've gotta be a complete shark movie fanatic to make it through the entire 2 hours and 44 minutes!!!!!!!! of screen time. Bring a snack and a thermos of coffee. And for the record, a school of sharks isn't a swarm, its called a shiver.

 

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Shark Swarm

 

 

 

Shark Zone (2003)  - A group of scuba divers are looking for diamonds in the wreckage of an old galleon which looks uncannily like a modern  freighter. The divers are warned that the ship lies near a kelp forest "and where there's kelp, there's sharks". If it was that easy to find sharks I'd be there right now with my cameras. As the divers chat away (despite the fact that they are not wearing full face masks or underwater comms.) they are set upon by schooling white sharks. There is some nice white shark footage spliced in at this point but sadly it is used again and again throughout the whole movie.

The sole survivor of the attack becomes a paranoid civic employee (ala Chief Brodie) who's job it is to protect the town from marauding white sharks. The mayor refuses to close the beaches over the holiday (didn't he watch Jaws!?) and carnage ensues until the sharks are blown up with explosives dropped from a helicopter. Fortunately, more sharks remain near the wreck to prey on the unsuspecting Russian thugs who have kidnapped the chief's son to force him to show them where the galleon is so that they can salvage the diamonds. Grim, gory, and unoriginal from start to finish.

 

 

Sharks in Venice (2007) - Oh dear, what a disaster. From the first underwater scene in which hapless treasure divers (speaking to each other with invisible underwater communication units) are picked off by voracious white sharks, to the final shootout where the bad chick suddenly has a change of heart and shoots a bad guy, Sharks in Venice is an inspired combination of bad plot lines and even worse acting.

College professor / pudgy tough guy David (Stephen Baldwin) travels to Venice to investigate the death of his father who was indirectly employed by the mafia to find a long lost treasure hidden in the water logged passages under the city. While searching for his father's body, his dive buddies are quickly dispatched but after being thoroughly shredded by a white shark, David wakes up in hospital two days later feeling a little tired.

He then turns down two million dollars (is he mad?) to help look for the treasure but agrees to enter the shark infested water again after the bad guys kidnap his girlfriend. Although his accomplices are dispatched within seconds by the sharks, David manages to drag himself back aboard the mother ship for the inevitable damsel rescue and bullet dodging showdown.

Growling sharks and B grade Indiana Jones style traps do nothing to redeem this movie and the white shark feeding footage from South Africa gets a bit tiring after the first couple of repeats.

In my opinion - an instant classic!

 

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Sharks in Venice

 

 

She Gods of Shark Reef (1958) Two brothers are shipwrecked on a South Pacific Island inhabited by a village of female pearl divers who are ruled over by an evil shark worshipping crone. When she decides to sacrifice some of her maidens to appease the shark gods the good brother saves one of the girls while the bad brother steals all the pearls. Predictably the bad guy is swept overboard while fleeing from the island in a canoe and is devoured by a 4ft blue shark (what did you expect from 1958!) leaving his nicer sibling to sail off into the sunset with the girl.

Not a lot of shark action except for a few monochrome shots of smoothhound sharks looking about as menacing as goldfish. A couple of Blue Sharks are killed in the course of filming the movie which was shot mainly on Kauai but the shark action was probably shot in California.

 

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She Gods of Shark Reef

 

 

Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) Here's a new twist for shark movie fans: Jaws meets Girls Gone Wild. Coeds start disappearing at a Florida beach resort during spring break but no one pays much attention except a young shark researcher who begins finding half eaten turtle carcasses floating above a new artificial reef. When his sister Danielle (Shannon Lucio) flies in to join the party, the attacks heat up. After some sleazy date rape drama, Danielle ends up floating next to an ailing motor boat where she is inevitably harassed by two large Tiger Sharks. Rather than make a dash for the boat she freezes in mid water and the sharks that are nudging her hungrily, lose interest and swim away - don't try this tactic at home!

Danielle and her hapless companions make land on a small island where they find the body of one of their friends. Fixing the boat they head back to port where they eventually inform the coastguard.

The Tiger Sharks then form a comical looking school which makes a B-line for the busiest part of the beach. Apparently the coast guard are too busy to help so the coeds take to the waves once more to try to chum the sharks away from their intended prey. Sadly they fail. The spring breakers get decimated and then smelling the chum, the Tigers swim away into the sunset - I love a happy ending.

Spring Break Shark Attack is basically a cheesy boy meets girl movie with mechanical Tiger Sharks as the back drop. There is very little real shark footage but I've seen worse rubber sharks and there are plenty of unintended laughs such as the scene where a girl with massive lacerations in her back is sitting patiently while a paramedic dabs at her shoulder with a cotton swab. In a later scene, the girl is still sitting on the beach getting her shoulder swabbed; perhaps she couldn't afford the ambulance ride. A bit thin on sharks but funny if you like corny teen movies.

 

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Spring Break Shark Attack

 

 

Tintorera (1977) This Mexican cult movie revolves around the unlikely relationship between a gigolo (Miguel) and a wealthy yacht owner (Esteban). Set during the 'free love' years of the 70's, Miguel and Esteban dedicate their time to bedding women and power-heading sharks until they settle into a very un-Mexican three way relationship with a liberated American woman.

While this is going on, beneath the surface a rogue Tiger Shark is developing a taste for cute hippies. When the shark swims away with Miguel's head, Esteban's world falls apart and he becomes obsessed with the demise of the tiger.

Director Rene Cardona Jr. obviously thought that sex and gore would sell his film because that's pretty much all this movie contains. Tintorera is basically a 70's soft porn flick with homo-erotic overtones, set against a backdrop of man-eating sharks. If you're looking for a meaningful experience leave this one on the shelf.

There is a fair bit of shark content but the Tiger sharks look as though they are about to keel over (probably drugged or badly injured) and many sharks are killed with powerheads on screen. Most of the victims are lemon sharks, but at least one Bull Shark is dispatched, and a number of Tigers are sacrificed in the name of 'art'. A sad testament to the Neanderthal attitude towards sharks in the 20th century.

 

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Tintorera: Killer Shark (Tiger Shark) 30th Anniversary Edition DVD Andres Garcia

 

 

Twelve Days of Terror (2004) A loose reconstruction of the events surrounding the shark attacks that shook the small community of Matawan during the summer of 1916. After two fatal attacks at popular bathing beaches a shark was seen swimming up Matawan Creek. Unfortunately local authorities dismissed the sighting believing that no shark would penetrate into fresh water. After three more attacks took place in the river, Matawan became the centre of a frenzied shark hunt that attracted opportunists from far a field. Eventually a Great White Shark was captured in the bay and an autopsy revealed undigested human remains in its stomach. It was never proven whether this was the shark that was responsible for the attacks in the river and some scientists believe that it was more likely the work of a Bull Shark implying that more than one animal was involved. The attacks may have taken place as a result of unusually warm water conditions along the New Jersey coastline, that encouraged warmer water predators to travel outside their normal range.

The lack of gratuitous gore in 12 days of Terror greatly adds to the realism of the movie and the sets and period costumes are well done. There is very little shark footage (just one sequence of a real white shark) but this fits with the docu-drama style of the film.

The Matawan shark attacks are thought to be the inspiration for Peter Benchley's best seller Jaws.

 

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12 Days of Terror

 

Two Headed Shark Attack (2012) Wow... a spectacularly bad B movie about a mutant shark that (after dispatching the random wakeboarders on the DVD cover) terrorizes a class of sexually charged, disinterested summer school students on a sea-school ship in the middle of the ocean.

When the ship accidentally rams a megamouth shark that looks more like a tiger shark, the boat starts to sink and the bloody carcass of the megamouth attracts the Siamese great white which then starts picking off students without the rest of the group catching on. Fortunately, they spot an atoll (which isn't actually an atoll) and the students and Captain go ashore to find scrap metal to fix the hull. Unfortunately, the mutant shark devours the crew member assigned to do the underwater welding but all she did was wave the torch around anyway so that was probably a good thing.

After a few more students become pistachios the remaining cast clue in and start to panic. Meanwhile the atoll is wracked by a couple of mini earthquakes. From this point on, a string of rash and generally fatal decisions are based on the prospect that the island may sink at any second but it never actually does. Unfortunately, it didn't occur to anyone that the two headed shark in the water might be a little more dangerous than the occasional tremor. Had someone simply said "Hey, how about we stay on land?" at least half the cast could have gone on to make Two Headed Shark Attack Two.

No one really had the lead role so its tough to decide who to ridicule first. Crew member Carmen Electra didn't really do anything except wear skimpy clothes and look concerned. The Captain played by Charle O'Connell delivered both his lines like a punch drunk fighter. Brooke Hogan (Hulk's daughter) played one of the bikini clad students but disappointingly she never managed to put either shark head in a half nelson. Perhaps the only noteworthy performance was from the geeky student (David Gallegos) who made a valiant attempt to perform with some credibility. Sadly, an Oscar winning performance by every member of the cast couldn't have salvaged this poory conceived 'straight to DVD' film. I loved it! ;)

 

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